Constant complaining can in fact produce the alternative effect. It drives the addict to a location where they can find solace – football. For a few men and undoubtedly women too, football is a place where they could lose themselves, get off problems.
To some degree this place to full cover up is understandable; all of us need a rest from our worries and a hobby isn’t any bad thing. The situation with football can it be is so simple to become lost in the lives of the players and coaches. The ups and downs of these lives control the emotions of the fans. For individuals with minimum curiosity about sport, this is often hard to appreciate. It could be compared to those who have difficulty separating their lives from the soap operas they watch.
The emotions of the addict are further stretched by the highs and lows of winning or losing; the email address details are taken personally. Appreciating the extent of the addiction could be daunting. However, the grade of your relationship can vastly improve when the challenge is met with a well orchestrated approach and realistic expectations.
A direct attack must certanly be resisted. As with many addictions, the addict will deny the depth of the problem. Expect to be accused of “blowing things out of proportion” or “robbing me of the sole enjoyment I’ve in life.” He’s on the defence and will do all they can to make you feel your attempt to boost the problem is unreasonable. Remember too, sports fans know the best type of defence is an offence.
The “football widow” needs her husband to know how she feels. Oh, it’s true some household chores could have been accomplished in the shape of persistent ear-bashing. But Nagging is a one-sided type of communication and is self-defeating. If we wish someone to hear us then we’ve to hear them. Telling him that “it’s a lot of men kicking a case of wind about” is not going to make him see reason.
Selecting the most appropriate time to speak is essential. Right before, or throughout a match would obviously be the incorrect time, and it might take a large amount of patience to find the correct time. Unless you are prepared to exercise this patience, don’t expect a great result.
The first goal is to greatly help him understand your feelings 7m. You want him to use and see things from your own viewpoint; in other words you would like sympathy. It’s hard to be sympathetic toward someone who’s nagging. Ask how he would feel if you spent the same amount of time or money about what interests you; now listen without interrupting.
Calmness may be the order of the day. Avoid making accusations or reminding him of times when he let you down. Resist (hard as it can be) by using this as a chance to list other places where he leaves much to be desired. Adhere to the situation – football.
Using someone else’s husband or boyfriend as a good example is only going to cause resentment – who of us likes being unfavourably compared to others? Should you unwittingly find yourself going down this road, stop, acknowledge it is a mistake.
Football addiction is powerful, so keep expectations realistic. The suggestions above are only a start down a long road, but it’s a good beginning that will produce early results.Gamble